One look sent knees to the ground

Issey Miyake F/W 2009

Don't mind me I always put lyrics on post tittles.

I draw like, 10 pictures ahead of this post. Sometimes I'm amazed with my own ability. Sometimes I draw 3 pictures a day, sometimes I can't draw anything at all. But I felt so frustrated everytime I can't draw, because I got the feeling I'm being pushed back, and thinking of what could have been if I had drawing more and more in the past, I feel like I was wasted. 

But these past few days, I'm happy I realized when I look at a beautiful drawing of another artist I'm not sad anymore. I got the feeling I can do it and I'm doing my best, so one day I can draw even better. Back then I used to look at others' work and want to cry and want to hide in my room or cut off my arms because I suck, and the circle of 'wanting to draw' -> 'seek for inspiration' -> 'feeling not good enough' -> 'not drawing at all' continues. It's kinda depressed, I always felt so sad like hundred percent of the time. But now not anymore, I'm so relief.